The House On Hope Street Page 9
The morning of the Olympics was sunny and warm, and she and Jamie left before the others. Peter was going to drive over an hour later with Carole and the girls. Liz was carrying Jack’s videocamera, and wearing her Nikon. They checked in at the gate of the fairgrounds, and Jamie was given a number. There were children like him everywhere, and many far more challenged than he, many of them seemed severely afflicted, and there were endless numbers of kids in wheelchairs. It was a familiar sight to Liz, and it touched her to see how happy they all were, and how excited. Jamie could hardly wait for his first event, and as they lined up for the hundred yard dash, he suddenly turned to his mother with a look of panic.
“I can’t,” he said in a choked voice. “I can’t, Mom.”
“Yes, you can,” she said quietly, holding his hand. “You know you can, Jamie. It doesn’t matter if you win, it’s just for fun, sweetheart. All you have to do is have a good time. That’s all, just try to relax and enjoy it.”
“I can’t do it without Daddy.” She hadn’t been prepared for that, and her eyes filled with tears as he said it.
“Daddy would want you to have a good time. This means a lot to you, and it did for him. It’ll make you feel good if you win a ribbon.” She spoke in a quavering voice, fighting back tears, but for once, Jamie didn’t see them.
“I don’t want to without him,” he said, bursting into tears of his own, and burying his head in his mother’s chest, and for a minute she wondered if she should let him drop out, or encourage him to do it. But it was like everything else they had to face now, unbearably hard the first time, but once they got through the pain, there was a sense of victory to have survived it.
“Why don’t you try one event,” Liz reasoned with him, as she kept her arms around him and stroked his hair, “and if you hate it, we’ll just watch from the stands, or go home if you want. Just do this one.” He hesitated for a long time, and said nothing, as they called the participants in the dash to the starting line, and then he looked up at her and nodded. She walked to the starting line with him, and he turned and looked at her for a long time, and then he lined up with the others. She blew him a kiss before he turned around, something Jack would never have done. Jack always treated him like a man, and he always said she treated Jamie like a baby. But he was her baby, and no matter how grown up he eventually got, or how capable, he always would be.
She stood watching him with tears in her eyes as he ran, and shouting encouragement with the other parents. But she wanted him to win this time, for himself, for Jack, and to prove that things were still all right, that he could live on without his father. Jamie needed this even more than the others, and maybe in some small way, she did also. She watched, holding her breath as he approached the finish line. He looked as though he might come in third or fourth, and then with a sudden burst, he pulled ahead of the others. He didn’t look to either side, or glance around, as some of the others did, he just pushed himself as hard as he could and kept going, and then with a look of astonishment, as tears streamed down her face, she realized that he had come in first. The ribbon had snapped across his chest, and he was panting at the other end, and looking around wildly for her as the official “hugger” gave Jamie a big hug and congratulated him. There were scores of volunteers who did just that. Liz ran to him as fast as she could, and he threw his arms around her when he saw her.
“I won! I won! I came in first! … I won, Mom! I never did that with Daddy!” But Jack would have been so pleased for him, and so proud of him, and Liz could just imagine him smiling at them. She was holding Jamie close to her, and thanking God and Jack for making it happen for him, she kissed the top of Jamie’s head and told him how proud of him she was, and he looked surprised when he glanced up and saw that she was crying. “Aren’t you happy, Mom?” He looked confused and she laughed.
“You bet I am!! You were fantastic!!” They both waved to Peter and the girls in the stands, and made a victory sign, and Peter and the girls stood up and cheered when they announced the winner of the hundred yard dash on the P.A. system as Jamie was getting his gold medal off to the side. No matter what else happened that day, Jamie had won.
He came in second in the running long jump after that, and won a silver medal, and tied for first in the sack race. By the end of the day, he’d won two gold medals and a silver, and he’d never been as happy in his life, when they finally drove home late that afternoon as he sat in the car with all three medals around his neck. It had been a wonderful day, full of excitement and victories and tender moments. And Liz took them all out to dinner at the Buckeye in Sausalito to celebrate. It was a day they would long remember and all be proud of.
“I never did that with Dad,” Jamie said again over dinner. “You’re a really good trainer, Mom. I didn’t think you could do it.”
“Neither did I,” Megan said proudly, looking at her mother. And Rachel and Annie teased him about what a hot athlete he was, while Liz said she was going to frame the medals for him.
“You did a great job, Mom,” Annie complimented her.
“Jamie did the hard part. All I did was time him in the backyard. That was pretty easy.” But they had done it every day for five weeks running, and it had paid off. Jamie had never been as happy in his life, or as proud. He showed everyone near them in the restaurant his ribbons and medals. And when Liz tucked him into bed that night, he thanked her again, and put his arms around her neck, and pulled her closer.
“I love you, Mommy. I miss Daddy, but I love you a lot.”
“You’re a great boy, and I love you, Jamie. I miss Daddy too, but I think he was watching you today and he was really proud of you.”
“I think so too,” Jamie said with a yawn, and she scratched his back for a minute when he turned on his side. He was asleep before she ever left his bedroom. And she was still smiling to herself as she walked back to her own room. Peter had gone out by then, and he had taken Megan with him to a movie. Rachel and Annie were watching a video, and Liz walked quietly into her room, thinking about her husband.
“We did it,” she whispered in the dark. And as she looked around the empty room, she could almost feel him. It was a presence, and a force, and a love that was not easily forgotten. “Thank you,” she said softly as she turned on the light, but she no longer expected to see him, or him to come back. But what he had left her with was infinitely precious.
The House On Hope Street
Chapter 6
They left for Tahoe three days after the Special Olympics. And Jamie was still in high spirits. They all were. An old friend of Jack’s had lent her his house in Homewood. It was a rambling old house they’d borrowed from him before. His wife didn’t like Tahoe, his kids were grown, and they seldom used it. And it was perfect for Liz and the children. It had a wide, sheltered porch, and you could see the lake from most of the bedrooms. It was surrounded by five acres of land. There were big, beautiful trees, and everyone was in a great mood when they got there.
Peter and the girls helped Liz get everything out of the car, and Jamie took the groceries into the house and helped her unpack them. Carole had gone to Santa Barbara for a week to stay with her sister.
“What about a swim?” Peter suggested almost as soon as they arrived. And half an hour later, they were all jumping off the nearby dock, shivering in the cold water. But that was part of the fun of it, and Liz had arranged for them to go waterskiing the next morning.
She cooked dinner for them that night, and Peter helped with the barbecue. His father had taught him how to do it. And they sat in front of the fireplace afterwards, telling stories and roasting marshmallows. And after a while, Annie told a funny story about their father. Liz smiled as she listened, and it reminded her of another time, and another story. She told it, and they all laughed, and then Rachel reminded them of when Dad had accidentally locked himself into a cabin they’d rented and had to climb out the window. And after a while it was a contest of who could remember the silliest stories. It was a way of brin
ging him back to them, in a way they could all tolerate now. The months that had passed had taken the edge off the pain for them, and left them with not just the tears, but the laughter.
And when they all finally went upstairs to go to bed, Liz felt better than she had in months. She still missed him, but she wasn’t quite as sad, and they were all happy to be there. It was a vacation they all needed, and she was glad that Peter had managed to get the time off to come with them. He was doing such a good job at the pet hospital that they had given him the week off and told him to enjoy it.
They all went waterskiing the next day, and Peter took Rachel and Jamie fishing in the stream behind the house, and they caught a fish. And the next day they took out the small boat that was tied to the dock, and both boys caught fish, and then Megan landed a big one. They caught craw-dads near the dock, and Liz cooked them that night for dinner. It was an easy, happy time for all of them, and they slept on the porch one night in sleeping bags, and looked up at the stars. It was a perfect vacation.
And when they packed their things at the end of the week, they were all genuinely sorry to leave, and made Liz promise to do it again that summer. She thought they might borrow the house again on Labor Day. It was a way of avoiding the party they always gave then. Like the Fourth of July picnic they had decided not to give this year, their end of summer party on Labor Day was a family tradition. But going to Lake Tahoe instead was an ideal substitute for it.
They were all relaxed and happy when they drove home the next day, and stopped at Ikeda’s in Auburn for hamburgers and milk shakes.
“I hate to go back to work,” Liz confessed to her oldest son as they both finished their milk shakes. “This was so much fun, I wish I could be lazy for the rest of the summer.”
“Why don’t you take some more time off, Mom?” he suggested, and she shook her head. She could just imagine what was waiting for her now at the office, she had court appearances scheduled all through the month, and a trial in early September she had to prepare for.
“I’m swamped.”
“You work too hard, Mom.” But they both knew she was still trying to carry her own load and his father’s. “Why don’t you hire another lawyer to help you?”
“I’ve thought about it. But somehow I think your father wouldn’t have liked that.”
“He wouldn’t have wanted you to kill yourself working this hard either.” Jack had always known how to have a good time, and as compulsive as he was about their work, no one liked a vacation better than he did. He would have loved the week they had just spent at Lake Tahoe.
“I’ll see. Maybe in a few months I’ll bring another lawyer into the practice. But so far, I’m doing okay by myself.” As long as she never stopped to read a book or a magazine, or have lunch with a friend or get her hair done. As long as she kept her nose to the grindstone every minute she wasn’t with the kids, it worked fine, but it wasn’t much of a life for her, and she knew it. And apparently, so did her children.
“Don’t wait forever, Mom,” Peter admonished her, and rounded the others up. They were buying candy, and carried bags of it back to the car to take home with them. It was part of the charm of Ikeda’s. It was one of their favorite stops. They usually stopped there too on their way to ski at Tahoe in the winter.
Carole was waiting for them when they got home, and Liz knew that the next few weeks would be busy for her, before the kids went back to school. Peter would still be working at the pet hospital for another week or two, but the others would be spending all their time around the pool, and inviting friends over to hang out with them. Carole would fix lunch for half a dozen kids or more every day, and sometimes twice that many at dinner. But Liz liked knowing where they were, and that their friends were welcome to visit.
Carole had cooked a delicious dinner for them, and when they went to bed that night, they were happy to be home, and full of stories of the lake to tell her. And Liz still looked relaxed when she left for work the next morning. It lasted for all of about ten minutes. The stacks of work and files on her desk had multiplied dramatically while she was gone, and there were more phone messages than she had ever seen waiting for her. She was handling her cases too well. Both clients and other attorneys were constantly referring new cases to her. And she couldn’t help but remember what Peter had said about taking another lawyer into the practice to help her.
She mentioned it to Jean that afternoon as they attacked her desk systematically, and Liz did some dictation.
“Do you have anyone in mind?” Jean asked with interest. She’d been thinking the same thing herself for quite a while, and applauded Peter for the astute suggestion.
“Not yet,” Liz admitted to her. “I don’t even know if I want to do it.”
“You should give it some thought. He’s right. You can’t do it all yourself. It’s too much for one person. It was almost too much for two before Jack died, and the practice has grown in the last six months. I don’t know if you’ve noticed it, but I have. You’re handling twice as many cases than you were when there were two of you to do them.”
“How did that happen?” Liz looked surprised as she acknowledged what Jean was saying.
“You’re good at what you do, that’s how,” Jean said with a smile.
“So was Jack.” Liz was quick to defend him. “I always thought he was a better lawyer than I was.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” Jean said honestly, “but he turned away more cases than you do. You never have the heart to say no to anyone. If he didn’t like a case, he booted it right out the door into the hands of some other lawyer.”
“Maybe I should do more of that,” she said thoughtfully.
“I’m not sure you could bring yourself to do it.” Jean knew her well. Liz was incredibly conscientious.
“Neither am I,” Liz said as she laughed, and they went back to work on the dictation. She had a number of things to send to various judges, and other attorneys, on the cases she was currently working on.
It was late when she got home that night, nearly eight o’clock, but she was paying her dues for her vacation. The kids were still sitting around the pool when she got home, and Carole was dishing out pizza.
“Hi, guys,” Liz said with a smile, and she was pleased to see Peter there, but less so when she saw two of his friends dive into the pool and play a little too roughly with the younger children when they all got into a game of Marco Polo. She told them to tone it down a little bit, and asked Peter to tell his friends not to play quite so roughly. “Someone’s going to get hurt,” she said quietly to Carole, who agreed with her and said she had spent the whole afternoon telling Megan’s friends the same thing. Liz was particularly worried about Jamie, who was only a fair swimmer.
And she warned them about it again that night after their friends left. “I don’t want any accidents here … or any lawsuits!”
“You worry too much, Mom.” Annie dismissed her, and Liz told her that she meant it.
She reminded them of it again the next day when she left for work, and when she came home that night, things seemed a little calmer. But on Thursday, when she came home late again, and found half a dozen of Peter’s friends in the pool with him, she watched them diving too fast, too soon, and not waiting until the other children had cleared the area, and she told him in no uncertain terms that his friends would be banned from the pool if they didn’t observe basic safety rules, and respect the younger children.
“I don’t want to have to remind you again,” she said sternly.
“You look tired, Mom,” he said gently.
“I am tired, but that’s beside the point. I don’t want an accident here. You can’t roughhouse in the pool, Peter, and I mean it.”
“Okay, Mom, I heard you.” He had grown up a lot in the past year, but not completely. He was still young, and some of his friends were daredevils and foolish, and she had always worried about it. Having someone get hurt was a headache she didn’t need. They’d been through enough trauma for
one year, and she wasn’t afraid to say so to him, or his friends.
She went up to her room to work again that night, and she had an early appearance in court the next morning. She was tired and edgy, and she wanted to get a good night’s sleep.
She was just leaving the courtroom in fact, at noon the next day, when her cellular rang. It was Carole, and she sounded precise and calm, as Liz stopped to talk to her on the steps of the courthouse.
“You need to come home right away,” she said clearly, and Liz felt her spine tense. Carole only sounded like that when one of the kids got hurt, or there was a serious problem.
“What happened? Is someone hurt?” She knew before Carole told her.
“It’s Peter. He had a day off from work, and some of his friends were here.” Liz interrupted her instantly in a shrill tone that was unfamiliar to her own ears, but her nerves were no longer what they once had been.
“What happened?”
“ We don’t know yet. He was diving and he hit his head, I think. The ambulance is here.”
“Is he bleeding?” All she could think of was Jack as he lay on their office floor with blood everywhere. If there was blood, to her now it meant disaster.
“No,” Carole said with a calm she didn’t feel. She had hated to be the one to tell her, but she knew she had to. “He’s unconscious.” She didn’t have the heart to tell her he might have broken his neck. They weren’t sure yet. “They’re taking him to Marin General. You can meet him there. Liz, I’m sorry.”
“Is everyone else okay?” She was running to the car as she asked her.
“No one else was hurt. Just Peter.”
“Is he going to be okay?”
No one really knew. There were paramedics everywhere, and Liz could hear the sirens start to wail as they took off with him as she asked the question.