Season Of Passion (1980) Read online

  Can't make it afterwards, Princess. We play tomorrow. I have to be in bed by ten. Don't worry about it. Maybe we can grab a few minutes together tomorrow before we fly out. Want to come to the airport with me?

  Sure. The look of despair started to fade.

  Want to come to the game tomorrow? And then he laughed at something he saw in her face. Oh, baby, tell the truth. You hate football, right?

  Of course not. But she was laughing. He was onto her. I don't hate it

  You just don't like it much, right? He laughed as he shook his head. It was perfect. A kid, a college girl, from some uptight fancy family. It was crazy. Totally crazy.

  Okay, Mr. Harper. So what? Does it matter if I'm not the world's hottest football fan?

  He looked down at her with a broad grin and shook his head. Nope. Not a bit. In fact, the idea amused him. He was sick to death of groupies. And then, suddenly, they were in front of her house, and it was over.

  Okay, kiddo, I'll call you later. She wanted to make him promise, to ask him if he was sure he'd call, to tell him she'd cancel the dinner with her parents. But hell, he was Tom Harper, and she was just another girl. He'd never call again. She pulled a thin cloak of indifference around her, nodded, smiled easily, and slid out of the car. She was stopped before her feet touched the street. Tom Harper had a crushing grip on her arm. Hey, Kate. Don't go off like that. I told you I'd call you. And I meant it. He understood that too. He understood everything. She turned to him with a smile of relief.

  Okay. I just thought ' The grip on her arm eased, and he ran a hand gently over her cheek.

  I know what you thought, but you were wrong.'

  Was I? Their eyes held for a long moment.

  Yes. It was the softest word she had ever heard. Now go get some sleep. I'll call you later.

  And he had. He called twice that morning, and once late at night, after she got home from the evening with her parents. He had been in bed, but couldn't sleep. They made plans to meet after the game the next day. But it was different this time. Too hurried, tense. They had won the game, and he was all keyed up, Kate was nervous. It wasn't the beach at Carmel, and it wasn't dawn. It was the whirlwind of Tom Harper's career, and a crowded airport bar before he flew to Dallas for another game. Other men from the team came and went, waved at them, two women wanted his autograph, the barman kept looking over and winking, and there was a constant turning of heads, whispers, nodding ' over there ' Tom Harper? ' yeah? ' hell, yes! ' Tom Harper! It was distracting.

  Want to come to Dallas?

  Huh? She looked shocked. When?

  Now

  Now?

  He grinned at the look on her face. Why not?

  You're crazy. I have to ' I have exams ' A frightened little girl darted into her eyes, and suddenly he understood something else. Driving to Carmel with him had been an act of faith, of bravado, of something. She could handle that. But a trip to Dallas that was something else. Okay. Now he understood. He would walk softly. This was a very special girl.

  Relax, Princess. I'm just kidding. But what about meeting me somewhere else, sometime after exams? He said it very gently and prayed that no one would turn up for an autograph, or to congratulate him on the day's game. No one did. He held his breath as she looked at him.

  Yeah. I could do that. She was trembling inside, but it was a beautiful feeling.

  Okay. We'll talk about it But he didn't press the point. And it was laughter and teasing all the way to the gate. They stood there for a moment and she wondered if he would kiss her or not. And then, with a slow, gentle smile, he bent down and kissed her, softly at first, and then as her arms went around him, he took her tightly in his and kissed her hard. It took her breath away and her head reeled. And then it was over, and he was gone, and she was alone at the gate.

  He called that night And every night, for a month. He invited her to various places where he was playing, but she couldn't get away, or his schedule was too tight, or she had a modeling job, or her parents wanted to do something with her, or ' and she wasn't really sure if she wanted to do. it yet She thought so, but' She never explained that to him. But he knew.

  What are you telling me, Princess? That I'm never going to see you again?

  Of course not. I just couldn't till now. That's all.

  Bullshit. You just get that skinny little ass of yours on a plane to Cleveland this weekend, or I'm coming out to get you myself. But there was always laughter in his voice, always that gentleness that let her know she was safe. He was the gentlest man she had ever known. And he was beginning to seem a little spoiled too. He kept insisting that he wanted her to come to him. But there was a reason for it He wanted her away from home ground. Away from roommates and parents and guilt. He wanted to give her not just a night, but a honeymoon.

  Cleveland, this weekend? Her voice held a quaver.

  Yes, love, Cleveland. Not Milan. Sorry.

  You should be.

  But she had gone. And Cleveland had been hideous, but Tom was a dream. He had been waiting for her at the gate when she got off the plane, with the happiest smile she'd ever seen. He stood there, watching her walk toward him, and carrying one long-stemmed coral rose. And he had borrowed a house from the cousin of someone on the team. It wasn't a luxurious house, just a warm friendly one. It was what Tom was, unpretentious, tender, loving. And that was what he had been to her. He had deflowered her so gently that she was the one who wanted the second time. That was how he had meant it to be: he wanted her to want him. And from that moment on she was his. They both knew it.

  I love you, Princess.

  I love you too. She had looked at him shyly, with her long brown hair lying damp and soft over one shoulder. She was surprised at how unembarrassed she was with him, right from the first moment.

  Will you marry me, Kate?

  Are you kidding? Her eyes opened wide. They had been lying naked on the bed, watching the fire die in the grate. It was almost three in the morning and he had a game the next day. But this was the first thing in his life that had been more important than the game.

  No, Kate, I'm serious.

  I don't know. But there was a spark of interest in her eyes. Just enough. I've never thought about anything like that. That always seemed like such a long way off. I'm only eighteen, and ' She looked up at him with a mixture of gravity and mischief, ' my parents would freak.

  Because of me, or your age? But he knew, and she hesitated, looking for the right words. Okay, I read you. He smiled, but he looked hurt too, and she quickly threw her arms around him.

  I love you, Tom. And if we did get married, it would be because I love you. I love who you are and what you are I mean because you're Tom, not all the other stuff. And I wouldn't give a damn what anyone thought It's just that ' well, I've never thought of it. I kind of figured I'd float for a while.

  That's bullshit, my love. You're not a floater. And they both knew he was right. But this was crazy. She was the one who was supposed to want to get married, and here he was, offering it to her on a silver platter. For a brief moment, there was a marvelous feeling of power. She was a woman now. And more than that, she was Tom Harper's woman.

  You know something, sir? You're terrific She lay back against him, and smiled with her eyes closed. And he smiled down at the delicately etched face.

  You're terrific too, Miss Kaitlin.

  She made a face. I hate that name.'

  But when he kissed her, she forgot all about it. And then he suddenly bounded out of bed, and went to the kitchen to get himself a beer. She watched the broad shoulders and trim hips and long legs, as he walked easily across the room in all his natural splendor. He was an extraordinary-looking man, and then she found herself blushing and embarrassed when he turned and smiled at her. Her eyes darted away to the fire. She kept them averted, but the blush still hovered on her cheeks.

  He sat down next to her on the bed, and kissed her. You don't have to be afraid to look at me. Princess. It's cool. She nodded, and t
ook a sip of his beer.

  You're beautiful She said it very softly, and he ran a hand slowly down her shoulder, gazing at her breasts.

  You're crazy. And I just had a wonderful idea. You don't want to get married yet, so how about if we live together for a while? He looked pleased with the thought, and Kate, at first surprised, suddenly smiled.

  You know something? You're amazing. I feel like you're offering me the moon on a blue satin ribbon. She held his eyes with her own.

  You wanted red velvet?

  She shook her head.

  Well, then?

  Can we wait a little bit?

  Why? Kate, we have something very rare and we both know it. We know each other better than either of us knows anyone else. We've spent the last month on the phone, sharing every thought, dream, hope, fear, that either of us has ever had. We know all we need to know. Don't we?

  She nodded, feeling tears start to her eyes. What if things change? What if ' And then he knew what was troubling her.

  Your parents? She nodded. He'd find out soon enough.

  We'll handle it, Princess. Don't worry about it. And if you want to grow into it for a while, then you do that. Why don't we just relax till you finish the semester at school? It was an easy wait. He had only another six weeks till the end of her first year. Then there was the summer. He knew it was settled. And secretly, so did she. And then quietly, gently, slowly, he let his lips run from her mouth to her neck, and play games with her nipples, his tongue darting around them and making her writhe slowly beneath his hands. He was afraid to try for a third time that night he didn't want to hurt her. So, with all the tenderness he showed her in all things, he ran his tongue along the inside of her thighs, until he heard her begin to moan softly. It was a night she remembered with tenderness always.

  She cried on the flight back to San Francisco. She felt wrenched away from him, torn from her roots. She needed him. She was his now. And when she got back to the house in Palo Alto, there were roses waiting for her, from Tom. He took care of her the way even her parents never had. They were so distant and aloof, so cool, so unaware of her feelings. Tom never was. He called two or three times a day, and they talked for hours. He seemed to be with her constantly. He flew back to San Francisco the weekend after Cleveland, and borrowed another apartment from a friend on the team. He was always careful and discreet. He wanted to shield Kate from reporters. And when school ended, she knew that she had to be with him. They had both zigzagged across the country for six weeks, and it was an insane way to live. The week after school ended, he was traded to San Francisco. It was perfect. Now they could rent an apartment in San Francisco, and she could travel with him all the time. They would always be together. She was sure. He was the most important thing in her life. She could always finish school later hell, maybe in a year or two she'd go back. This was only a hiatus. Maybe until Tom retired from the team. School was no big deal.

  That was not, however, how her parents viewed it

  Are you out of your mind, Kaitlin? Her father stared at her in disbelief from his traditional stance near the fireplace. He had been pacing back and forth and had finally stopped there, with a look of desperation in his eyes. Leave school and do what? Live with this man? Have a baby out of wedlock? Or maybe someone else's baby I'm sure there are other men on his team who'd be glad to oblige. His eyes Slashed as he went off on his own private tangent, and Kate saw Tom tense across the room.

  Daddy, that's not what we're talking about. I'm not having anyone's baby. Her voice trembled.

  No? How can you be so sure? Do you have any idea what kind of a life you'll lead with this man? What kind of raucous, low-class, miserable life athletes lead? What exactly are you aspiring to? Sitting around in bars watching football on television and going bowling on Tuesday nights?

  For God's sake, Daddy, all I told you is that I'm leaving school for a semester and I'm in love with Tom. How can you

  Very easily. Because you don't know what you're doing. His tone held only condemnation, and her mother nodded silent agreement as she sat stiffly in her chair.

  May I interject a word, sir? It was the first time Tom had spoken since they'd begun. He had accompanied Kate only to provide emotional support: he knew that the matter had to be handled between Kate and her parents. He had wanted to bolster her, not interfere, but there was no way to avoid interfering now. Kate's father was getting way out of hand, and enjoying it. It showed in his eyes.

  Tom turned to her father now with a look of quiet concern. I think you have a somewhat frightening view of what my life is like. True, I don't work as a lawyer or a stock broker, and there isn't anything very intellectual about playing football, but that's my life. It's an all-out, hard-working, physical job. And the people in it are like any other kind of people, there are good men and bad men, stupid ones and smart ones. But Kate's life will not be spent with the team. I lead an extremely quiet private life, and I'd be very surprised if you could take exception to

  Her father cut him off with a furious glare. I take exception to you, Mr. Harper. It's as simple as that. And as for you, Kaitlin, if you do this, if you leave school, if you dare to disgrace us in this way, you're finished. I don't want to see you in this house again. You may take whatever personal items you want now, and you may leave. I will have nothing more to do with you, nor will your mother. I forbid it.

  Kate's eyes filled with tears of pain and anger as she looked at him.

  Do you understand? She nodded without taking her eyes from his. And you won't change your mind?

  No. I won't. She took a breath. I think you're wrong. And I think you're being ' very unkind. Her voice caught on a small sob lodged in her throat.

  No. I'm being right. If you think I have waited these eighteen years to banish my own daughter from my house, to stop seeing my only child, then you are greatly mistaken. Your mother and I have done everything we could for you. We have wanted everything for you, given everything to you, taught you everything we know and believe. And now you have betrayed us. It tells me only that we have had a stranger in our midst for these eighteen years, a traitor. It is like discovering that you are not ours, but someone else's child. As Tom listened with growing horror, he suddenly agreed. She was someone else's now. She was his. And he would love and cherish her even more after this day. What bastards they were. You are no longer ours, Kaitlin. We could not have a daughter who could do these things. He said it with ponderous solemnity, and a burst of almost hysterical laughter escaped from Kate's constricted throat

  Do what things? Drop out of school? Do you have any idea how many kids do that every year? Is that the big deal?

  I think we both know that's not the issue. He glared at Tom. Once you have besmirched yourself, as you so determinedly plan to do, it will not matter whether you go to school or not. School is only part of it. It's a matter of your attitude, your goals, your ambitions. Where you are going in your life ' and where you are going, Kaitlin, seems to have nothing to do with us. We are finished. And now he looked away from her to her mother if you want to get some of your things, please do so quickly. Your mother has been through enough. But her mother didn't look exhausted or shaken, she looked glazed and indifferent as she sat there, staring at her only daughter. For a moment Tom wondered if she was in shock. And then she stood up with an icy expression, and opened the living-room door, which had been carefully closed so the maid wouldn't overhear the exchange. In the doorway she turned to look at Kate, who was rising slowly and almost painfully from her chair.

  I'll wait while you pack, Kate. I want to see what you take.

  Why? Are you afraid I'll take the silver? Kate looked at her mother, stupefied.

  Hardly, it's locked up. She swept from the room then as Kate started to follow. And then Kate stopped. She looked at Tom, and then back at her father with an expression of revulsion on her face.

  Forget it.

  Forget what? For once, her father seemed at a loss.

  I don't want anyt
hing from you. I'll go now. You can keep whatever is in my room.

  How kind of you.

  And then, without another word, Kate walked slowly from the room. Her mother was waiting for her in the hall, with her face set in hard, angry lines.

  Are you coming?

  No, Mother, I'm not. I think I've had about enough. No one said anything for a long moment, and then pausing for a last moment by the door, she turned to look at them and said only one word: Goodbye. She was out the door as soon as she said it, with Tom next to her and his arm tight around her shoulders. What he really wanted to do was go back and kill her father and slap her mother so hard her teeth would jangle in her throat. My God, what was wrong with those people? What were they made of? How could they do this to their only child? Memories of his own mother's love for him brought tears to his eyes as he thought again about what Kate had just been through. He pulled her close to him as they reached his car and for a long, long time he just held her, as tightly as he could, letting his arms and his heart and the warmth of his body tell her what he could barely find words to say. He would never let her go through anything like that again.

  You're all right, babe. You're just fine, and you're beautiful and I love you. But she wasn't crying. She was only trembling very slightly in his arms, and when she looked up at him, the much too serious eyes reached out to him as she tried to smile.

  I'm sorry you had to see that, Tom.

  I'm sorry you had to go through it.

  She nodded silently and pulled slowly away from his arms. He opened the car door for her and she slipped inside.

  Well it was a tiny voice as he slid into the car next to her I think that means it's just us. My father said he never wanted to see me again. He said I'd betrayed them. She sighed deeply. Betrayed them. By loving Tom? By leaving school? Stanford was a tradition in her family. And so was marriage. Shacking up, as her father had called it, was a disgrace. So was loving a nobody. A coal miner's son. She was forgetting who she was, who her parents were, who her grandparents had been ' all the right schools and right clubs and right husbands and right wives. Her mother was then the president of the Junior League, and her father was senior partner of his law firm. And now she sat in the car next to Tom, looking stunned. He glanced at her again worriedly. He'll change his mind He patted her hand and started the car.